Complicated Kisses
by Yemam2422
Summary: Flack/Angell. Post 5.13 ‘Rush to Judgment’. Flack and Angell figure out where they stand with each other.


I would like to thank **mel60** for her always wonderful beta help. I also highly recommend her recently posted and excellent fic, **Fracture**, if you haven't already checked it out.

Thanks for reading!

* * *

The first time Don Flack kissed Jess Angell she had been totally surprised. The streets had been uncharacteristically quiet that night, much like Flack whose normally calm, cool and collected demeanor had been cracked by his troubled sister. She sat in her car for a moment after that kiss, savoring it, touching her fingers to her lips that pulsed from the taste of him.

Their second kiss had been less of a surprise but equally as stimulating. He'd invited her for a drink after work, then walked her home. As they stood by her door he kissed her. Again and again. Until the feel and taste of him became familiar, until she'd become addicted. After that, their kisses became so frequent they blended together. Innumerable yet each so memorable.

So when they stopped kissing a noticeable void formed. But Angell couldn't kiss Flack now. Not when those kisses had gotten her into trouble, reduced her to locker room gossip. Not when she couldn't help but think the man responsible for those devastatingly sweet kisses was not who she thought he was and didn't really know her either.

_I have more important things to worry about than locker room gossip_. His words stayed with her that night when she fell asleep wondering if she'd always play second fiddle to his job, if he'd always dismiss her worries so easily. They were on her mind throughout the next day, even though she'd managed to avoid him, because they were not actually an answer to her question. And they still echoed in her head now as she stood in the break room, waiting for the microwave to reheat her sludgy coffee. And the more she thought about those words, and the man who'd said them, the angrier she got.

She was tired and hungry and all she wanted to do was get him out of her head, to stop thinking about him, and curl up in front of the T.V. with a glass of wine. When Flack walked in, oblivious to her turmoil, she tapped her fingers impatiently, deciding something stronger than wine might be in order.

She couldn't look at him the same way anymore. He looked different somehow - the question of if he was the source of the gossip distorting his features. His usually sparkling eyes were suddenly dark with deception, his lips turned in a smirk instead of charming grin.

"Anything to eat around here? I'm starving?" Flack's appetite was back in full force and he knew the end of his Internal Affairs investigation was to thank. Turning in his badge and gun was devastating and Flack was happy to have everything back to normal.

_Why was he always so damn hungry_, Angell wondered to herself. He ate more than humanly possible. And while she was on the topic of formerly endearing but suddenly annoying traits she might have to mention that he should seriously reconsider his choice in ties.

"Here." Jess threw a box of energy bars at him as she walked out of the room. Flack ducked, the Power Bars barely missing his head as Angell stormed by. Flack jogged to catch up with her at her desk.

"What's wrong with you?"

"I'm busy Flack."

He watched Angell for a moment, assessing her bad mood. He hadn't seen her all day so he knew it couldn't have been anything he'd said or done. He mentally backtracked some more until stopping at their last conversation in the middle of his ordeal with Internal Affairs. Suddenly everything made sense.

"Are you going to accuse me again of telling people about us?"

"I'm not accusing you. I'm asking you."

"The answer is no." His gaze narrowed, temper simmering in his eyes. "You don't believe me."

"Like I said, I haven't told anyone so that leaves only you."

"Do you know how insulting it is for you to stand there and doubt me?"

"Do you know how insulting it is for everyone to be whispering about me behind my back?"

"Who cares what people say? It's better out in the open now. We don't have to be so secretive."

"It's not about other people. It's more than that."

"How can I know what it's about when you won't tell me?" His question was tinged with exasperation, unsure of what he'd done wrong or how to do to end this unexpected argument. "What do you want me to say?"

Words and emotions blended together, confusing Angell who was not even sure what she was upset about anymore – that IA knew about them, that Flack might have been the one talking, or that he didn't seem to care enough about her to see how hurt she was by it all. And she wasn't about to spell it out for him. Flack was definitely getting under her skin, and she was starting to suspect he was sneaking into her heart. How else could she explain why his fast and easy dismissal of her concern, and therefore who she was as a person, made her heart ache?

She'd gone a long time without having her heart broken and intended to keep it that way. She had no illusions of happily ever after and was reminded of that cold reality every single day on the job. If she was indeed falling for Flack, she needed to be sure about him, to compile the facts, as well as the emotions. And right now she was certain of neither of those.

"Nothing, Flack. I don't want you to say anything."

"You're off shift aren't you?" Flack wanted to get her alone, out of this precinct. Pressure and anxiety permeated these four walls on a daily basis and both seemed to be seeping into their relationship.

"In ten minutes." Her reply was curt.

Before he could suggest dinner her cell phone rang. He watched her change right in front of his eyes as she took the call. From an irritated woman to sturdy steel. She moved fast, answering whoever called without hesitation. The last glimpse he saw of her was of the determination in her eyes as she left for a crime scene.

----------

When he next saw those same eyes a couple of hours later the determination had been displaced by strain and fatigue.

"Jess…"

She shook her head and raised her hand to stop him. She didn't want to talk to anyone, especially not Flack. Her murder suspect had escaped before she could reach the scene and the case was getting colder by the minute. She walked past him to her desk and very deliberately began to file her paperwork. Saying nothing, she simply acted like he was not there. Flack crossed his arms across his chest and planted his feet in a stance that indicated he wasn't budging.

"You shouldn't have waited for me. I'm just going to go home," Angell finally said.

"I'll take you."

"I've got my car." She stood up and waved her keys in front of him as she headed for the parking lot.

Flack followed her outside, the crisp air not as cool as the mood between them. Grabbing Angell's arm to stop her, he turned her to face him.

"I'm driving you home. Why are you being so difficult?"

"Leave me alone." She shoved his hand away. The emotions and pressure boiling inside her were unbearable. "I'm perfectly capable of driving myself home. Or anywhere else I want to go. I don't need you. I don't want you. I don't…"

Jess stopped herself, appalled at her outburst. She detested being flustered and it irritated her that Flack could fluster her just by existing. Like now, all he had done was offer a ride home but that was all it took to make her defensive and she'd unleashed on him with words she didn't even mean.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, stepping back before he could touch her again. "I just need to walk."

----------

Flack watched Angell walk away from him, block after block. Once she became a speck in the night he decided to drown his frustration with beer. _What the hell, _he thought to himself as he sat at O'Malley's, his mind traveling in a thousand different directions. Despite the past few weeks of dating and their frequent nights together, Angell was still a mystery to him. As a detective he couldn't resist a good mystery, picking it apart layer by layer, clue by clue, until he solved it. But a little cooperation from Jess wouldn't hurt. If she wasn't avoiding him or plain out ignoring him then she was literally running the other way.

"She needs to relax," he muttered to himself as he signaled the bartender for a refill and rubbed his hands over his face. He was so concentrated on the conversation he was having with himself that he didn't notice Lindsay slide into the stool next to him.

"Who needs to relax?"

"What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be home with your feet propped up or something?"

"I'm pregnant, Flack. Not invalid. I'm meeting Danny." She ordered a glass of ginger ale and a plate of nachos and, with her cravings taken care of, turned her attention to Flack. "What are you doing here by yourself?"

"Nothing."

"Everything okay?"

"Perfect."

"You sure?"

He considered lying but knew Lindsay would see right through it and call him on it. Ever since they'd bonded over Laughing Larry – and then dealing with Danny after Ruben died – they had formed a friendship that he'd come to appreciate. Not that he wasn't still determined to get back at her for the scene she'd caused with the blow up doll.

"Actually, I could use your female insight into something."

"What's up?"

Flack recounted the past few days for Lindsay, starting with the IA investigation and ending with the tense scene just a couple of hours ago. As Lindsay digested his story, the source of strife became fairly obvious to her. But like most men, Flack was oblivious.

"What word comes to mind when you think about Angell?"

"Well, I don't have just one exactly. I'm _attracted_ to her. I'm _interested_ in her."

"Interesting." Interesting that he was leaving out words like _care_ and _concern _and _affection_ and not a single thing about how he_ felt_ about her. Flack's and Angell's feelings toward each other were stronger and ran deeper than they realized or wanted to admit. But they would have to come to that stubborn realization on their own. All she could do was nudge.

"You know how I'd describe her? I'd say she's a lot like you Flack. She respects honesty."

"But I was honest with her. That's the whole point. I didn't tell anyone about us and I didn't lie to her about it," he replied quickly, defensively.

"I wasn't talking about Internal Affairs."

With her food and drink in hand, Lindsay left Flack pondering her cryptic words.

----------

Flack stayed at the bar long after Lindsay left. It took until closing time, with the bartender politely dragging him out, for him to finally leave. He'd sat on his stool for hours thinking about Angell, wanting her. And it worried him.

He wanted to believe the reason he couldn't go one day without her inside his head was because she was attractive and arousing and they were both enjoying the excitement of a new relationship. But he knew it wasn't desire that was working its way through him now. Maybe it had started out as just chemistry, but it was more than that now.

It wasn't too long ago when all he wanted to do was come and go as he pleased. But now the thought of spending his nights alone depressed him. He'd been happy on his own, his ambitions straightforward and simple. He was focused on being a good detective, and the women he'd allowed into his life were safe and uncomplicated. Not one of them ever made him want to change his plans. Not one of them made him feel the things that he was experiencing with Jess. And that's what he needed to be honest about. That's what Lindsay had hinted at earlier.

He told himself he was going to head home and talk to Jess in the morning when they would both be rested and calm. But then he had simply ended up in front of her apartment. He needed to see her. It was as simple as that. He wasn't about to sit around brooding over beer feeling sorry for himself.

As he saw it he had two choices. He could look at the past few days as an indication that dating another cop would not work and stop seeing Angell. Who needs drama after all? Or he could take this as a sign to fight for what he wanted.

Flacks were definitely fighters.

----------

Angell was settling into her couch when a persistent knock disrupted her night of wine and mindless T.V. Looking through the peephole she saw Flack, slightly rumpled but completely adorable. Closing her eyes and resting her forehead against the door, she considered ignoring him. She wanted to distance herself from him, steady her emotions and then figure out what to do. But whatever inexplicable force had drawn her to him in the first place had her opening the door.

"Flack, what are you doing here?"

"Sorry. You haven't been answering your phone so I thought I'd just stop by."

"That's all right. Come in."

As she shut the door behind him she noticed that he seemed nervous. But so was she. The two of them just had their first fight and now they were awkward around each other. She politely offered him something to drink, he politely declined. A person could have cut the tension with a knife.

Flack hoped that by the time he got there he would have something clever and casual to say but what came out was what he should have said two days ago.

"I'm sorry Jess. I'm really sorry."

"For what?"

"For being a jerk." Flack began to pace around her living room, struggling for the right words to say. "We're good together Jess and I care about you and I want this to work." Finally, it was all out there between them. No more games. Being honest was surprisingly easier than he thought and he instantly felt relief when he finished talking.

When their eyes met, Jess suddenly had absolutely no idea what to say. His statement had her feeling lightheaded but she knew he was right – they were good together. Even from the beginning when they'd teased each other and harmlessly flirted. From the very beginning he'd gotten her. In so many ways they were the same. He was smart and witty and sexy but underneath it all he was kind and surprisingly vulnerable. She looked down at the floor so he couldn't see her smile. A moment later she felt his hand on her chin, his eyes searching hers.

"Say something."

While it had been easier to dance around the subject rather than actually say out loud what she had been thinking and feeling, it had also been exhausting. She couldn't take it anymore.

"I bet a lot of women don't have to think around you. But I'm not like that. When we're together I see the domino effect. If I do this then that will happen. And this whole Internal Affairs thing just proved my point. Sometimes it's a lot of thinking. But it's who I am."

Flack smiled. He liked getting into the beautiful head of Jess Angell.

"I like that you're always thinking."

"You said I was difficult."

"I like that about you too."

Jess realized that being with Flack there would not always be calm and collected coolness. There would be feelings that could not be isolated and controlled. It would be all or nothing with him. And she was ready to go all in.

As if sensing her unspoken decision, Flack slipped his arms around her and drew her close, then closer. He saw her eyes flutter as he lowered his mouth to hers. She instantly melted into his kiss, into him, before she could stop herself and gave into whatever they were creating between them. His mouth brushed hers once, lightly, as if testing. Then again, and then his lips lingered as he traced her face with his fingertips. She was used to urgent, needy kisses. He'd never kissed her this way before. But she could definitely get used to these kisses.


End file.
